The Journey..

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Lao-tzu

The journey of life are the little steps we take each day on our own journey - each one unique. What makes them special isn't how they are viewed by others so much, but what we learn, who and what we value (and vice versa) as well as what and who we, cherish safely packing them away in our souls as we keep moving.....

Living life in motion is key. In our journey, we should never wait to be or do better, we don't need a year end resolution for this.
Just do it!

'Tis The Season

We were barely out of Halloween, hadn't had our first slice of Thanksgiving turkey, sweet potato or pumpkin pie before we were already seeing holiday decorations and commercials urging us to shop. The local media is staked out at the mall, wanting to see how retailers are doing and how much people are spending. I understand fueling the economy, but with the pervasive sea of debt in this country the approach seems particularly heavy handed.

My father used to always say 'Christmas is everyday'. He would tell us not to wait to be charitable, to show love, use the best dishes, or give gifts. I always keep this in mind. I survived a few lean Christmas's as a child, and remember the anxiety of not always getting what I wrote to Santa for. I turned out OK, I'd say. Lessons were learned even when I didn't realize it. The funny thing is, I remember being happy to be with my brother watching the color wheel go 'round and 'round as the music played in the background in front of our silver aluminum tree. I remember the little things like that.

I enjoy the twinkling lights, fresh christmas tree's and smell of pine right along with holiday carols. I enjoy being with my family. There's nothing like seeing my children emerge on Christmas morning. Now that they're older, it's different of course but we still have a good time. We love making cookies together, meticulously looking over our individual decorations and beaming with pride in our own unique finished creation.
There is no doubt there's something magical about the season.

For many though, this is a dreaded time of year full of stress, sadness, and loneliness. Let's try to be mindful of that and think of other's who may be in need. I'm not talking primarily of material things, rather the gestures which could be as as small as a smile or kind word.

It's in that spirit that I'm writing today. Remember it's the little things, do as much or as little as you want or are able to do.
Baking cookies or sharing laughs with friends and family is often the most cherished of gifts. If you are lonely, donate your time and you may find there's someone else who may have it worse, and gain a deeper perspective of life and appreciation of what you have rather than what's missing.

Remember the things you have and are able to give which age gloriously free; love, laughter and kindness.

When A Man Loves A Woman

Infidelity has captured a lot of headlines this week. Whether you've been on the receiving end, or fallen prey to naivety and been swept into some mess it's not easy. Once the bond of trust is broken, it's simply difficult to overcome in many cases, it was for me. My marriage could not be saved, I didn't want to when all was said and done.

Many of my songs are actually glimpses of love gone wrong and various degrees of inner resilience from the hits to the album cuts, it's all in there, beneath the glam. While on Twitter, someone sent me a link to my song & video "When A Man Loves A Woman" from 1994. I hadn't seen it in a long time. My son is in my arms at the end of the video, he's taller than me now, I had to laugh thinking, wow "time flies!" The song is probably my most potent recording thus far.

I'd written the lyrics primarily lifted from my personal journal back then. The more songs I heard about rump shaking and glocks, the more introspective I became. It was never a desire of mine to fit in, my direction and purpose is embedded in my spirit. I was already in the middle of a separation with divorce on the horizon. As always, I found a creative release through artistic expression. I gave birth to a son and the album 'Intimacy'. I really wanted to direct the video, and to label MCA once again gace me the green light to go for it - even if they weren't sure how they would promote it. It was important to have some of the words come from the mouth of a guy in the clip, and some from close friends. Love, responsilbility and committment would be the theme framed in stark black and white. Real people. The kitchen scene reflected girl friends and a matriarch (my own mother), joining in on the discussion. My Mom could never get the timing right for her lines, and we still have a laugh about her lack of timing from time to time. I had to to cut away, because she never get her part right.

My heart healed. I was able to grow closer to myself as a result if that makes sense.

The great thing about time, is that if you just let it move on and you do the necessary work on yourself you can truly walk away
with clarity. I prayed a lot and did a lot of soul searching. This week's tabloid news inevitably made me think of how miserable
the wife must feel, and made me have flashes of my own personal drama's of surviving infidelity.

At a point, it's not about the other woman, or a cheating spouse/mate, poor decisions,shady motivations, etc. There comes a time when you have to recognize your own self worth and live up to it, leaving the nonsense behind. There should be no price tag big enough for anyone to reduce your personal value. Live. Learn. Move On.

Procrastination

I posted a quote on my Facebook page, as I often do, generally by something that resonates somehow for me, or something I think might light a torch under someone else.
The quote read: "You might delay, but time will not" attributed to Benjamin Franklin. I've been doing a bit of this lately on certain tasks, and in this case I needed to remind myself. Time of course, is always marching on. Whatever we delay, we have to deal with eventually. Some things become worse, the more you ignore or put off.
Someone posted a comment which read, "It's easy to say, but hard to do sometimes".
The first thought that came to my mind was all we ever really have to do is get out our own heads and just do it, whatever 'it' is and no matter how much you might dread it. Once you put action in motion, things get done. If you think something is hard, it is. I'm a firm believer in always adjusting attitudes in a more positive direction. I've found, it makes the difficulties of life less overwhelming.

We should never be our own worst enemy. The tapes we run in our own heads should be programmed toward positive thought and action.

Just face it, tackle it, confront it, whatever you have to do; but just move toward getting "it" done!

Jody Watley Talks Grammy Award Best New Artist Nominee Controversy

It seems each year the highly coveted 'Best New Artist' Grammy nomination is swathed in controversy.

With Lady Gaga, the recording academy is again catching heat as to how she isn't eligible this year in this category.

Clearly, she is a breakout artist this year, enough to earn a place amongst other potential nominees. She was ruled ineligible because her single "Just Dance" which was a huge hit, was nominated last year for Best Dance Recording. That year it seems would have been the year for her to make the ballot in the New Artist category. Perhaps this explanation will help those that don't really know how the process works get a bit more clarity. Gaga's little monsters can rest easy that her music is eligible this year for other major categories. Recording Academy President said on the red carpet of the AMA's this past November that the organization was "looking for ways to figure it out." He further acknowledged that the rules are reviewed each year by the awards and nominations committee's, who have in cases changed the rules over the years.

I still receive the occasional back handed remark of those who felt my inclusion in the Best New Artist category for the 30th Grammy Awards. My solo launch clearly established an individual entity. Not everyone was happy for the nomination and subsequent win and there was mild controversy about it, some of which may still linger. In my case, though I was in a group, it was not Jody Watley & Shalamar. Those vehemently against my eligibility didn't have a valid argument in that case, as the academy and voting member viewed me as eligible. My award is currently proudly resting on the baby grand piano in my living room.

People who were familiar with Shelby Lynn argued she'd already released multiple albums, which should have deemed her ineligible, etc. The difference of course were her prior works were primarily niche, relatively obscure and not a part of the mainstream. Shelby Lynn had a breakthrough year in 1998, which earned enough critical praise and created enough notice not previously experienced with her music.

When an artist who has had prior works, fully breaks through in the market place firmly establishing their name and music they are eligible. Being 'featured' on a recording, such as the early Whitney Houston duet with Teddy Pendergrass "Hold Me" which was a Top 5 R&B hit in 1984 would ultimately render ineligibility for the award as was the case for her massive "Whitney Houston" debut album.

An initial entry ballot goes out with hundreds of names, all submitted by major and independent labels. The recording academy voting body then votes and goes through the final process.

The fact is, every artist comes from somewhere with some type of background, there are no over night successes, or truly 'new' artists.

This prestigious trophy is truly a breakthrough award and a seal of approval from those peers who vote in acknowledgment of achievements and the impact an artist has had for that year. In the end there are always going to be those who disagree or those who simply share the joy an artist who may have provided memorable moments to last a lifetime through music.

To learn more about The Grammy's or to become a member visit:
http://www.grammy.com/recording_academy/

Jody Watley On Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas" 25 Years On

I had the great fortune to be a part of the unprecedented Band Aid "Do They Know It's Christmas" charity single 25 years ago. Reading the articles marking the occasion in the UK a couple of weeks ago has lingered and compelled me dust off my blogging/writing pen.

It seemed most writers in the UK wanted to take the opportunity to be cynical about the process, or find a way to highlight those who may have had misfortune since that time.
Life happens, and I'm not sure why people ever get such glee in the downfall of others, but in the context of the 25th Anniversary of Band Aid, it felt particularly trite.

While reading I couldn't help but wonder what did any of this have to do with the money raised to try to do something positive for starving children, after nearly a million had already died? It doesn't matter what the state of Sir Bob Geldof or Midge Ure's careers were at the time, they did something amazing and meaningful.
"Do They Know It's Christmas" became the fastest selling single of all time in the UK and raised over 5 million pounds or roughly 10 million dollars.
The subsequent Live Aid and USA For Africa single "We Are The World" would bring the total to 150 million pounds or nearly 248 million dollars for famine relief, and still contributes roughly 2 million pounds per year (just over 3 million dollars) via the Band Aid Trust. It may not have changed the world, but Band Aid has definitely saved millions of lives. This should be the focus and marked achievement.

Band Aid was also influential in igniting the social efforts of other artists for causes including, Farm Aid and other campaigns combining a collective of artists willing to use their talents to help others, I'd say this was a worthy trend to start.

Being that my participation is rounded up incorrectly, let me say that my participation came after I'd quit the group Shalamar. I was living in the UK reevaluating my life, purpose. I was friends with Mariella Frostrup from the PR department at Phonogram, and I remember her I needed to be a part of this. I said of course, not really fully grasping the magnitude of what was about to be a part of in music history.

After arriving to music producer Trevor Horn's ZTT Studio's, we all watched the documentary chronicling the heartbreaking famine in Ethiopia, before getting on with the recording session. There really wasn't a dry eye, as I recall.

Personally, I was in awe of being among so many of Britain's most
popular musicians including; Sting, Bono, Duran Duran, George Michael, Boy George, Bananarama, Phil Collins, Paul Young and more.

It was during this session that I would ask George Michael to do a duet with me, that's where we connected the first time. George would keep his word some 3 years later when I returned to the U.S. to officially launch what my own very successful solo career, but that's all beside the point.

I understand the 'Where Are They Now', follow-up and it was a good idea to include everyone, but I'm still trying to figure out the point of proclaiming, not everyone made it to mega-stardom addition, and then making sure you remembered who has had problems with the law, drug abuse and financial distress. Was that why we all participated? As someone, who was there, I would say absolutely not. That day 25 years ago wasn't about bolstering careers.

Reading about everyone, and what they've gone on to do with their lives over the past couple of decades shouldn't be reduced to trivial or sensationalistic sound bites, the bottom line is that we were all a part of something meaningful, which should never be forgotten or diminished.

Cheers, to Sir Bob Geldof and Midge Ure, well done.

The Art of Listening

In an ever evolving and fast paced society of 'me me me' and instant gratification, it seems we tend to not listen as much as we should. I've experienced it in personal relationships, where I've talked my heart out, and yet wasn't felt 'heard'. I wondered, did they listen to anything I said? You see people screaming at each other over issues in politics and wonder is anyone really listening and trying to objectively understand the other person's point of view? Sometimes in our own enthusiasm to share or let the other person know how we feel, in relation to what they are saying, we may miss something. With friends or family, they may not always want advice, rather they may just want someone to 'listen'.

This phenomenon isn't unique to personal relationships, it happens in business. I started to notice how many times either I was being cut off, or in fact I was doing the same. It seemed as though each person is rushing subconsciously to make their own point. I was particularly frustrated and decided that the first thing I was going to do from that day was to make a conscious decision to slow down. It all begins with you, right? I remain focused on what they are saying, not thinking about what point I want to make, until they have finished their thought. If appropriate I ask questions about whatever they said. This reinforces to me that I had 'heard' them, and in turn perhaps the person on the other end will do the same by slowing the pace of the conversation whenever possible. Being in the moment, and not already jumping ahead to the next point or thought has become something I try to remain keenly aware of.
One of the lessons I've learned in life is we can't change people, but we can change ourselves.

Social experts and therapists always tout communication, it seems as though we need to cultivate the art of listening as a major part of that process.